Here are some sample letters from previous successful customers. Note that Romancing Jan (Pieterzoon) guarantees your letter will be received by the illustrious Archon, but cannot guarantee his response, or your safety.
Letter from Estelle Harper
How do I long for thee Archon Pieterzoon!
The piercing gaze in thine eyes.
The beckoning fangs in thine mouth.
Come, speak to me of your enduring love!
Jan Responds:
(No response was received from Archon Pieterzoon,
as he considered Estelle’s letter quite boring)
Letter from Margaret Tablesmith
My brave Ventrue warrior,
I think my sire grows jealous of my interest.
As he nervously shuffles his ancient tomes,
he discourages my yearning for you.
Tell me, Jan, will you come steal me away
from this boring city?
Jan Responds:
Dearest Margaret,
I too long for our meeting. Tell me,
my sweet: where may I find you and
your sire?
Sincerely,
Jan
(Jan later burned Margaret’s Sire
at the stake for possessing heretical
teachings traitorous to the Tower)
Letter from Samantha Collins
Noble Archon,
My dreams of you torment all my days.
I yearn for you as our Father yearned for
beautiful Zillah. Where may I find the Crone
who will deliver you to my arms?
Jan Responds
(Jan burned Samantha at the stake for
possessing texts traitorous to the Tower,
then also destroyed her Haven and kicked
her dog an extremely excessive number
of times)
Letter from Georgiana Madison
My dutiful knight,
I am an unclean lioness waiting
for your embrace. Tell upon me,
brave hunter. What would it take
to feel your cold fangs against
my waiting neck?
Jan Responds
(Jan’s response has been redacted
due to violations of the public obscenity
and decency laws of multiple countries.
Upon receiving his response, Georgiana
requested to never hear from the Archon
or our team ever again.)
Slight Delays in Correspondence
While our team of course is happy to accept your money and letters, know that there may be a slight delay in responses from Mr Pieterzoon. After a recent trip to Prague for a business convention, he has become quite difficult to reach. All the more reason for your coordination team’s fees!